Sunday, February 26, 2012

Dictionary of EURO 2012

1.EURO 2012 Football Minute
When someone asks for a minute to do something, even though they know it will take much longer than 60 seconds.
Wife: I need to run into this store. It'll only take a minute
Husband mumbles: More like a football minute.
2.  EURO 2012 Football Minute
A period of time described as one minute that will actually become several times longer, especially if due to frequent interruptions. Antonym: New York minute
Dude, you said you'd be here in a New York minute. That was like fifteen minutes ago. More like a football minute.
3.EURO 2012 Football hooligan
English Football Hooligans' kit:
Chest: England sports shirt OR bare beer belly
Legs: Blue Jeans, or optionally tracksuits for the thinner hooligan
Left Hand: Brick. Preferably, attached to a string so you can throw it through a shop window and get it back without much fuss.
Right Hand: Either a half-full bottle of Carlsberg or a broken bottle of Carlsberg.
Fingers: Fake gold jewellery.
Head: Skinhead
Face: Temporary facepaint of Saint George's Cross
Feet: Reebok Classics
Pocket: Mobile phone to call other football hooligans to arrange fights
Mouth: Foul language
4. Football EURO 2012 Widow
N. A woman who must cope with the temporary death of her relationship during football games.
Nothing will draw Stalney away from the TV on Sunday. Jill realized she's become a football widow.
5.EURO 2012  football hooligan
People in a *firm*
wear expensive clothes that appear to be casual and really cheap
Regularly meet other football hooligans for fights before/after a match while pissed out of their face
Hull City Psychos - the firm in hull - appear at every home and away game hoping for a fight
stretford end - location for all uniteds football hooligans
6. EURO 2012 Football Manager
A computer "game" about managing a football team that can suck the life out of a person. It is quite possibly the only game that can make you feel completely stressed out, pissed off angry like, and exceedingly happy at the same time.
Mr. Beans: "Hmm... I think I'll play an half an hour of Football Manager before bed."
-20 Hours Later-
Mr. Beans: "Oh, motherfuck! I gotta get to work! ...meh." *continues playing*
7. EURO 2012 football add
a friend request on facebook
basically from some young hooligan that supports a crappy football team and is looking for girls under 18 to hook up with a get drinks.
girl: thanks for the add, do i know you?
hooligan: nah just a football add!
girl: cool
hooligan: going to the next game? wanna meet for a drink.
8.EURO 2012 football chav
A hybrid of a chav. They often hang around public parks and scare the living Sh!t out of children.they often always where football shirts and ride around on bikes.They lack the intlect to work so there most likely job is mcdonalds minimum wge.
"its those damn football chavs pissing on the goalposts again.
9.EURO 2012 Football Degree
to have a degree in football you will also need a degree in acting/drama.......take portugeuse goalie ricardo.....ever seen him play you'll understand what i meen
bob had a football degree, hes good at drama and can kick a ball
10.EURO 2012 Football Depression
The depression that occurs during a day before football practice or other related activity.
person 1:John was always quiet and remorseful during his last few classes..
person 2: Football Depression.
11.EURO 2012 Football Douche
Your typical, garden variety, Football asshole.
They can usually be identified by what they wear, which includes, but isn't limited to:
-Adidas Flip-flops, with long black socks.
-Gym Shorts
-Under-Armor Shirt/ Hoodie
-Under Armor Sack Pack
-Oakley sunglasses
-Flat Bill Ball cap that is cocked sideways and up
Some of the Identifying physical features are:
-Extremely short hair
-Pencil thin Chinstrap beard
-Built to the point of looking like a human turd
The Characteristics of these people are:
-Smug sense of self satisfaction
-Terrible sense of humor
-Tendency to pick on anyone who doesn't play foot ball
-Able to pick up girls by being a douche
-Usually surrounded by his teammates and girls.
-Homophobic, around other people, but Homosexual in the locker room where they chase each other around the shower naked.
-Usually focus on nothing other than football.
Football douches exist throughout every highschool
as far as they are concerned, 2 + 2 = FOOTBALL!!!
Football player- YA BRA WHATS UP?!!?!?!!!!
Guy 1- What the fu....
Guy 2 - oh, that's just a Football Douche
12.EURO 2012 football ear
The phenomenon in which men, while watching football, lose the ability to hear anything not coming from the TV screen.
girl: Hey Tim, That T.O. sure is crazy.
Tim: .....What?....What? Wait...What?
13.EURO 2012 football fag
a man who likes to attack the tight end on and off the field
Did you hear that football fag got Jim in the brown eye last night?
14.  EURO 2012 football  move
Some ridiculous Maddenism that became a main stream rule. Deems a verified catch or not which has no grounds to judge.
Madden: "Not a good catch there, not a good catch there didnt make a football move!"
2.EURO 2012  Football Fag
Pretending to like football just to be in a room of grizzly football loving men. You use this time to check out their potential chubby size, and fantasize about touching their butt holes with gardening equipment.
I'm sick of that football fag staring at my junk all the time. Why the fuck does he have gardening sheers with him?
15.EURO 2012 Football friend
A person you would not usually like but they support the same football team as you
Laurence: Hey buddy what you up to tonight?
Pete: Going round to James' to watch the game
Laurence: James is such a dick
Pete: I Know, but he's my Football Friend
16.EURO 2012 footballhead 
a white person's head that is elongated with the back of the head that looks like a football that you can kick around
this honkey got some real bulging footballhead, like a space monkey shot into space. i wanna kick it like a football.
17.  EURO 2012 Football headed yogurt slinger
Of course...this is yet another word for the WONG...the male reproductive organ.
My football headed yogurt slinger survived many a journey.
"Hey look at that guy's football headed yogurt slinger...sick man"
18.  EURO 2012 football injury
Used to describe a woman with a very wide posterior; used to describe a woman who looks as if a football was punted sideways into her ass
*woman walks by* "Oh, would you look at the football injury on that..."
19.  EURO 2012 football queef
when mike is playing football he gets tackled, his legs go out and he makes a wet fart noise
aww did you see that wicked football queef by mike

Ukrainian government has decided to set up English courses for 120 thousand volunteers that will help in organizing Euro 2012.
The aim of those special classes is to help volunteers overcome language barriers. Volunteers have to  speak English, the most popular, international language to talk with foreign football fans from the whole Europe.
Government will also publish special pocket dictionaries. “Those dictionaries will go to policemen, volunteers, stewards, Emergency Medical Services, post office employees and every possible tourist’s attractions in Ukrainian cities” – said Borys Kolesnik√≥w, man in charge of Euro 2012 in Ukraine.
In addition to that Ukrainian government is planning to create a GPS map of the country. The map will be available in 6 languages.
The preparation of the personnel is very important but what about infrastructure? Ukrainian engineers and construction workers are working very hard to make sure that everything is ready for the big event. The biggest problem is accommodation. The government plans to place some of the football fans in the universities, but only 7 out of 800 Ukrainian universities has agreed to host the guests from another countries.
Hopefully everything will go well and Ukrainian volunteers will take care of a good atmosphere during Euro 2012.

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